If you have ever tried to celebrate the holiday season with multiple groups of family members, this is for you. There IS a way to actually get to hang out with the people you love around the holidays in a more fun and less stressful way.
This idea developed over a few decades in our family, starting with the year when my husband I were newly married, and we attended four Thanksgiving dinners in the same day.
Four.
Thanksgiving dinners.
In the same day.
We thought we were gonna die.
But when you have multiple family units and you want to see them all (and, let’s be honest, not have anyone be mad at you for not spending time with them), it’s what you do. Well, it’s what we did because we were young and dumb. (My apologies to past me.)
Maybe you can relate to the joy and trials of wanting to be with different family groups for the holidays.
And maybe you are eager to discover another way of celebrating with those you love in a less crazy way.
Read on.
Fast forward from those poor, over-stuffed newlyweds about 20 years on the eve of the holiday season AND an imminent foreign move that would take our (now) family of five to celebrating American Thanksgiving in not America (and far away from family for 6 months).
Enter: my brilliant niece. (The next generation is the one that will save us from ourselves in so many leveled up ways, you guys.)
We were all sad that our trip departure was the week before Thanksgiving. So, my brilliant niece suggested we celebrate Thanksgiving the week before.
This isn’t the brilliant part (standby for that). This is pretty standard when families want to be together but cannot for any specific holiday. You just pick a different day to celebrate that holiday.
But what she said NEXT was the brilliant part: Let’s celebrate Thanksgiving, AND Christmas AND New Year’s all together that weekend!
And so, Holidaypalooza was born. A time where family gathers to celebrate the holidays, but not on the holidays, in quick succession.
It took us a year or two to realize what we had our hands on. But eventually, we understood the magic of getting to be with one group of family we loved for the holidays via Holidaypalooza AND getting to celebrate the day of the holiday with another group of family or friends (or in our own home) and it became evident that we were brilliant.
We started with a core group of about 14 people, and with marriages and births we are ever expanding (including our newest married couple who doesn’t have to do multiple Thanksgiving meals/Christmas celebrations between their new families, you’re welcome).
Here’s how it works:
1. We pick a date that covers 3 days where we can all be there.
This is actually the hardest part. Planning months in advance helps. Working ahead of Thanksgiving can help, aiming for earlier in November. So far, this has mostly worked for everyone to be there the whole weekend, but there have been a few times when a person is only there for part of it. We work really really hard to find a date that works for everyone. It’s a priority for us all, so that also helps.
2. We host at one location.
If most of the family you’d include lives in a similar geographic area, I still think it’s way more fun all being in the same house, like a giant sleepover.
My brilliant niece has ended up hosting it every year until now. This year, we are going for a massive upgrade to keep her family from bearing the brunt of hosting all of us for so many days (we share the cooking and cleaning workload, but being host is just inherently a lot of work).
And we ran out of bed and floor space this year with our growing numbers.
So, she suggested we find a house to rent on VRBO on Airbnb that could accommodate all 20 of us.
(Shoutout to Utah for being geographically convenient for our people coming from 3 adjacent states AND having a lot of homes that can host a ton of people.)
Holidaypalooza is an iterative process, so we’ll see what we learn this year that will make next year’s event easier and enable us to focus on time together and not logistics.
Also, did we all get matching pajamas this year? Yes. Yes we did.
3. Commit to the bit.
It’s important that you realize it’s all a bit ridiculous and press in accordingly. This is not the time for those traditions you might get miffed about if they don’t go just right. We have found a balance between doing those things you really want to do with the group (like a fun white elephant gift exchange or Christmas craft that scales up to 20 people well) and avoiding those that work well in a more intimate setting (like going around the table and each person sharing what they are thankful for). But it IS a time to do silly festive things that are great with a mixed ages and interests crowd.
The best pro tip I can give you is this: Assign the organizing and running of the event to a handful of the Eldest Daughters.
Give them love and support and be manual labor, but it’s best to have a small group of powerful, wise, get ‘er done people in charge of the festive chaos. They organize meals and some of the activities ahead of time and assign the cooking and clean up tasks.
This year, with increased travel time for all of us, we are planning on 4 days. This is how the schedule looks:
Day 1 – Travel/Arrival Day
Day 2 – Thanksgiving, then Christmas Eve
Day 3 – Christmas, then NYE
Day 4 – Depart/Travel Day
Remember, the point of Holidaypalooza is to gather, celebrate, and hang out. Focus on good food and don’t over plan it. It’s meant to decrease stress and just get to enjoy being together. The stakes are low because it’s not the actual holiday, which means things don’t have to be perfect. They can be looser and a bit more casual, if that’s your vibe.
Embrace the crazy sleepover/holiday craziness! It’s also a unique opportunity to learn a lot about your family and be as close as only 20 people sharing 5 bathrooms can be.
Happy Holidays!
