To the lady I honked at on Black Friday…

I know that this is terribly, terribly late. But in the spirit of goodwill to (wo)men, I feel I must say it.

To the lady I honked at in the SuperTarget parking lot on Black Friday, I’m sorry. I am not a cranky person, in general. I sat waiting patiently for a full 45 seconds (which we all can agree feels like FOREVER) and I just couldn’t take it anymore.

Let me explain. In lieu of HAND-MAKING Christmas cards this year, I talked the fam into getting a family photo. Since HAND-MAKING 60+ cards last year was a painful, painful event for everyone (it seemed like a good idea at the time), I figured talking them into a family photo this year would be easier. With the pain of last year properly refreshed (when I waved a partially completed card at them from my stash of supplies), they readily agreed.

So, I bought coordinating sweaters for the children (pink and plum), with me in plum and Darling in brown (I thought putting him in plum would make him roll his eyes at me, so I didn’t try it). NOTE: I did NOT make anyone dress up fancy (much to Pixie’s sadness). I did NOT make anyone cry as we got ready to go (even when I couldn’t find the CUTE bow for Lady Bug’s hair and when Darling accidentally shaved off part of his goatee–no joke). I held it together as we rushed LATE out the door (despite my cleverly putting the appointment ahead by 20 minutes in my planner).

You were just the straw that broke the camels back, lady. I had the family LEAP out of the car(not an easy task with 3 children) while I wove through the throngs of bargain shoppers to find a parking spot. I *patiently* sat behind you as you were let out of your car. I had just let my family out, so I was willing to be gracious. It was the fact that you then re-opened the car door to get a jacket out. And then that other lady who got out of the car waited until you were totally out to even BEGIN extricating herself. And then SHE reached back in to get a jacket. (It wasn’t cold and you were practically on the sidewalk into the store, seriously.) You were all moving with exquisite SLOWNESS, with a complete disregard for the fact that you were holding up traffic. And then some man handed Slow Lady #2 a cell phone. And then they chatted about the merits of needing said phone.

I just couldn’t take it anymore. I broke down and honked. A polite little honk, honestly. You looked back at me and said, “Be patient a minute!” Well, since it was SO WARM out, I had my window down and my spirit of injustice raised her irritated head at you.

“I have been patient a minute. It’s the 5 you’re taking that I’m impatient with!”

Well, you can remember how things progressed after that. You went slower, I snapped rude things at your ambling self (no sweary words or anything that would keep me from running for public office). Just great fodder for you to talk about when you discussed your shopping bargains and that psycho lady in the parking lot.

Anyway, back to my point. I’m sorry. Really, I am.

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